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I have been friends with a woman, who has faced and conquered several hardships, and I respect her for that. Yet, she has been repeatedly blindsided in relationships. Her spouse left her, and it was a massive blow. Several of her social circle drifted away during that time, since they had been only interested in him. This surprised her. She made increased attention in our friendship, and must have realised better the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, quite a few in her circle have disappeared and she isn't sure why. Her last employer turned on her, even though she had been highly competent, her exit happened unaware of the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Lately, we've both left the workforce leading to more time together, but I am finding my position in the relationship is as the audience. I introduce subjects and she changes the talk toward what interests her. Politically, she expresses firm beliefs. I try to recommend double-checking information or other angles.

She has been arranging a vacation to a country I've visited many times even called home for a while. I attempted to share advice, yet it was met with resistance. She purely just desired my agreement with her plans. I have come back from a month there she is eager to meet, but I don't.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want in this role who abandons suddenly abruptly, but I don't think she can grasp the effect of how she acts on how I feel about myself. Currently, I am in distancing myself. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

You could end things abruptly, but it is seldom the easy answer we imagine. Yet having a direct talk with the goal of a solution takes courage and readiness on both your parts.

Experts suggest trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one involves describing how things go when you talk. It should be as factual as possible and essentially what a recording device would replay. Step two involves sharing how this makes you feel. There should be no dispute about this. Your feelings are valid, of course. Finally is to question how the two of you going to change the pattern of your friendship."

Consider she too holds perspectives, meaning you must to stay open to hear that. One effective method is telling your friend:

"It's your turn to speak and I'm going to remain silent for a set time."

This can be impactful in fostering mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

She might reject your concerns, for those who have a self-protecting mindset: they have a version regarding their experiences they cannot release because their very survival depends upon it being the only thing they've known. It's tough when there seems no easy route with these people, mere obstacles. But she may at first react like this and then think about what you've said. And should you never reach an agreement, it provides satisfaction that you've been truthful.